What is a Fair Divorce Settlement?
Julie Hupp, CDFA®, CFP®
April 16, 2018
Once you decide that divorce is a potential reality, your thoughts will immediately turn to your future and fears of your new reality. “I don’t make enough money to live on my own.” Or “How much of my income will I have to give up to support my spouse and the kids?” “I’ll be living in poverty!” A world of unknowns reveals itself in a cascade of financial and emotional realities that must be dealt with. Despite the typical stereotypes around vindictive nasty divorces, my experience is that the vast majority of couples sincerely want what’s fair for all involved.
Fair. The problem here is that every person’s idea of fair is different. Depending on how much emotional hurt that may have happened in the marriage, perceived wrongs that demand to be righted, apologies that remained unspoken, “fair” may be on the peaks of two separate mountains cut deeply by a river of conflict and resentments. This is the simple truth that has created a multi-billion-dollar divorce industry. I think and hope there is a different answer.
“Focus on the next phase of your life and how you can move on in a healthy happy way.”
What if you let go of the need for fairness? I know, sounds crazy but try this on for size. What if each party didn’t worry about what the other person was getting and sat down with a divorce financial planner and simply figured out what they need for themselves to be able to be ok? And then they sit down with a mediator and start from there? Maybe it’s not equal. Maybe it’s not “fair”. Maybe it just works! For everyone involved! Now that is a win/win solution!
Let it go! It doesn’t matter! Focus on the next phase of your life and how you can move on in a healthy happy way that will preserve your family unit for the future. The goal that I have for my clients is to be the best divorced family you can be, because you’re still a family.
Aspire Divorce Solutions